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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Gronk

Gronk
No. Enc.: 1d6 (4d6)
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 40' (double if grumbling/half that if they just ate)
Armor Class: 5
Hit Dice: 4
Attacks: 1
Damage: 2d4
Save: F4 (Immune to Fear, Feeblemind, etc.)
Morale: 0*

Gronk are parthenogenic hiveborn abhumans descended from rebellious homunculi who do not have morale as others know or recognize such a state of mind. Taciturn proletarian warriors of great fortitude and dour outlooks, the Gronk literally do not have the ability to feel fear nor joy, nor any strong emotion. Instead they endure. They persevere. They survive and march ever onwards in their completely egalitarian military-industrial society. They comprise an army without officers. They insist on putting everything to a vote on a unit by unit basis, even when hired-on as mercenaries or janissaries. Everything that they wear, eat or carry comes from a central supply facility and is mass produced in the one ideal size that every Gronk is expected to aspire to--failure to conform to the standards of the collective is treasonous and can lead to summary court-martial and execution by one's comrades, even in the midst of battle.

Gronk carry no treasure as everything they own is held in common and is in fact the de facto property of the collective.

All Gronk are medium infantry and they like it that way.

The Gronk have rigorously embraced the principles of centralized authority and mass-production. Thus they have invented the ultimate melee weapon. The only slight problem is that it only comes in one size and that is usually twice the optimal size for any given Gronk. This weapon is the Gronk Sword.

2 comments:

  1. All hail the Gronk Collective!

    Do they have mass produced armor as well? Or just rely upon numbers?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a little of both really. Gronk Armor is one-size-fits-all-Gronks, much like how the Gronk Sword is meant to work for every Gronk. This is by the order of Gronk Central Command. Their armor consists of a heavy, padded not-quite brigadine-style torso sheath with baggy leggings, undershirt, sash and crotch-banner/loin-cloth used to identify each Gronk's proper unit. So to speak. ahem.

      The standard issue Gronk armor is fair to partly worthless, which is why Gronks tend to use each other as cover. They also have been known to sneak chainmail or lamellar armor under the baggy, loose-fitting stuff they are expected to wear into battle. But to do such a thing is a courts-martial offense.

      Those Gronks who gain enough experience over time to become veterans often show signs of becoming less than loyal to Gronk Central Command. The mean ones become sergeants, the really shrewd ones run off to form mercenary bands. The first thing a Gronk mercenary does is to get their hands on some real armor and to take up the use of ranged weapons...unfortunately, Gronk make lousy missile troops, their depth perception is a bit wonky.

      Mass-produced Gronk Armor is available for sale to non-Gronks. It is effectively -1 Padded Leather with double the encumbrance and carries a -1 penalty to DEX due to its poor weight distribution. It does however make a decent, if odd-shaped blanket or saddle-blanket.

      The distinctive Gronk helmet is effectively a small shield or buckler that has been modified to be strapped in-place over a Gronk's oddly-shaped head. This is an archaic hold-over from Pre-Centralization times, when Gronk roamed the vast savannas of their homeland trying to figure out where they were and beating up anyone who didn't look like them.

      Certain hill-tribes are reputed to weave lovely rugs out of scraps torn from Gronk armor recovered from major battlefields...the helmets make decent wok-style cooking pans, or they can be re-converted into bucklers with a minimum of fuss and bother.

      As to strategy, Gronks rely upon overwhelming numbers to accomplish all things whenever possible. they distrust finesse, dislike subtlety, and prefer a good, strong charge right at the enemy, even uphill in the rain. The front ranks quickly form barricades for those who come after.

      So far no one has managed to convince Gronk Central Command of the merits of gunpowder. They see it as a noisy waste of time that might lead to a slackening of Gronk discipline. Keep in mind, these are the same Authorities and military geniuses who refused to adopt cavalry into their armies as it 'might make their troops too lazy to fight.'

      There is no truth to the rumor that the padding inside Gronk Armor is made from shredded forms and old documents. Only Commissars and General Staff get that sort of privileged armor due to the serious sacrifices called for in their high offices...

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